Download American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an by Craig Ferguson PDF

By Craig Ferguson

In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson can provide a relocating and achingly humorous memoir of residing the yank dream as he trips from the suggest streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the comedic promised land of Hollywood. alongside the best way he stumbles via a number of makes an attempt to make his mark—as a punk rock musician, a building employee, a bouncer, and, tragically, a latest dancer.

To numb the ache of failure, Ferguson discovered convenience in medicinal drugs and alcohol, addictions that finally resulted in an aborted suicide try. (He forgot to do it while somebody provided him a pitcher of sherry.) yet his tale has a contented finishing: in 1993, the washed-up Ferguson washed up within the usa. eventually sober, Ferguson landed a step forward half at the hit sitcom The Drew Carey Show, a hit that at last resulted in his position because the host of CBS's The past due past due Show. by means of a ways Ferguson's maximum triumph was once his selection to develop into a U.S. citizen, a milestone he completed in early 2008, in advance of his command functionality for the president on the White condo Correspondents' organization Dinner. In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson talks a crimson, white, and blue streak approximately every little thing our Founding Fathers feared.

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I expected it to have horrifying side effects like all the antidrug horror propaganda said it would, that things would change shape and I would hallucinate angry demons and such. Perhaps I would even drop dead on the spot, but if I wanted to fit in this was a risk I had to take. Of course nothing really happened, but I did start to feel pretty good. And the band sounded great. And everybody was funny. Hilarious in fact. And I was starting to get a little hungry, then really hungry. Karen got us hot dogs and they were the best hot dogs I had ever tasted and this band was fucking BRILLIANT and this was the best night of my life and it was then that I had my satori.

My cousins took me with them wherever they went. I went bowling for the first time, feeling like a local in my rented two-tone shoes and sucking on my giant fizzy soda. I ate hamburgers and hot dogs and french fries. I went to a McDonald's for the first time, this was of course before Micky D's march to global domination. It was certainly before there was one in Glasgow. My dad took me to New York City. that was love at first sight. I loved it then and I love it still. Even now, overloaded with sanitized bullshit Trump glass towers and condo-yuppie pseudoculture, it is still a complete mindfuck.

I had watched some other kids smoking it, that odd sustained inhale and the holding of the breath. I was a teen and I wanted to fit in so I did exactly what I'd seen them doing. I sucked on that doobie until someone crossly snatched it from me and snapped something about Humphrey Bogart. I knew it was marijuana but I was unaware of any sensation of drugginess. I expected it to have horrifying side effects like all the antidrug horror propaganda said it would, that things would change shape and I would hallucinate angry demons and such.

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